Right to be Armed.

Someone extremely dear to me has this brilliant idea (sarcasm) to buy a gun. I began to disagree with him to be stopped by his wife's agreement. The argument ended there, its obviously none of my business. Nevertheless, I would worry if he owns a gun. My main argument was that nothing should ever end with a shot. I don't even know why a normal human being without any shady activity would need such a thing.



I worry because the end of it is either being shot or shooting. It isn't self-defense... Things shouldn't get this wild to need a gun. Not for a husband and a father.

What do you think?!?! I'm interested to see views.
PS: I might want to borrow the gun and shoot the person wo "hit & run" my car.

Why God!

Why do I ALWAYS attract the wrong men!? ::cry::

Whats wrong with this?

I'm not here to judge and point fingers. Neither do I feel I've done my job well as a Muslim. In fact, I am way behind bas Allah yhdeni. I'm here to analyze people's patterns of thoughts. I don't get it and probably will never get it.

Let me inform you about the people in subject. These are the people I know in my community born to Muslim families that are practicing and others who aren't. They pray during Ramadan or possibly never did. Some fast and some can't handle being without their cigarettes. All drink, of course... and party till the break of dawn.

BUT, they manage to wear an "Allah" necklace around their necks.... even with their swim suits lol. I don't get it. Is it a sign of appreciation to their religion? But it shouldn't be symbolized with a necklace! Religion is far beyond tangible objects, its far beyond anything and requires a lot of action and giving in return.

They are ALSO the people that become fans of the Holly Quran on facebook while they are also fans of the hottest club in the area and the best wine from Italy. *sigh*


**Exactly Qabbani, something strange lol

I am not against all of this (well, I am) but everyone is judged by his/her own actions and there are heavens and God to take care of that. Before I start with them, I have a lot more to work on myself. But STILL... I don't go around giving mixed vibes of where I stand in relation to my religion because honestly, it isn't working! I know where you are past midnight, I've heard the stories and drama, plus... I see you mocking my actions so why WHYYY do you mess around in the name of Allah?

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness. --Albert Einstein.

Only 6 of my weirdness.:.

Hisham tagged me so here goes:

تحدث عن ستة أسرار قد لا يكتشفها من يقابلك للمرة الأولى

1. I love my job with a passion! Like too much. Sometimes I throw out Medical jokes my friends don't understand. I also mess with words like calling customers, patients. Once I was telling Dana about the "Trama family" but mistakenly said "Trauma Center" :x

2. I have this thing for parallel endings. First of all, I like them second of all every birthday I feel like I might die as a parallel ending to my life :D

3. I had a strawberry birth mark (شهوه) I removed with a surgery.

4. I worry about germs and think I feel them reproducing and crawling so I frequently wash my hands and face.

5. My daily planner is essential. Everything is marked down and I go by it day by day. I also don't throw out the old ones because they hold so many memories.

6. Even though I've been a (Circassian) dancer for more than half my life I also taught Religion and Arabic classes.

Feel free to tag yourself!

Alessandro Safina - Luna [Only You]

I really like this song and I dont even know why. You could find translation here.

Alessandro Safina - Luna
Uploaded by maurice67

Weddings' TOO much!!

I hope one day Love wont blind me to the point I do the overrated wedding traditions:

1. Hug my husband and shift right and left in slow dance while forgetting people's attention is on us.

2. The cake bite that ends up looking like the couple are kissing.

3. Kissing.

4. Giving or letting ANYONE give speeches as if they've never seen a mic before.

5. Accep to be picked up in the air by two of my husband's friends. With all respect, I stay on the ground please.

6. Decorating with balloons as if its a birthday party.

7. Twisting my arm with his and attempting to take a drink with weird colors such as (blue,green,red) that will make me sick afterwards. Or any normal drink. Why make such a big deal? Just drink normally for goodness sake.

8. Doing the flower bouquet toss. I never stood to catch it and I wont throw it either. Ladies tend to loose their gracefulness as they jump/fight after the bouquet.

9. Wear a wedding dress thats toooo extra revealing.

10. Wear makeup with an eyeliner extending to my ears and an eyeshadow darker than my husband's black suit.

In recovery mode for 2 crazy weeks.

Its been one hectic two weeks. We had twenty one people in our house as guests from Florida & Syria. Of course, I am of the older generation in the family so all my cousins are munchkins (but some still find a way to be taller than me). I was awakened in the most awkward ways ever by random little people jumping on my stomach and singing "wake up its time to play" or the worst I have encountered... My little cousin Marwan bringing his flute next to my ear as am sleeping and blowing it so hard FEEEEEEEEE. I kid you not it was so traumatizing I began to cry LOL.

Its bittersweet. My grandmother thinks its the last time she will see them (like every year) and becomes very sad. The routine we live for 2 weeks is rich with family events and gatherings its hard to come back to normal. All the doors open, loud laughter shaking the house, early morning coffee with the ladies, men watching the soccer games, the BBQs, hugs and kisses, and the photos we capture to last for longer than the moment we wish to savior all make this time of the year happy.


yes, girls dominate in our family (about 80% girls)

But to be quite frank, I am sooooo exhausted. Having a handful of kids full of energy 24/7 running after you could physically kill. Lets not let alone having to sit and listen to all their silly stories because well - I am the oldest and I should. The men also find it fun to watch soccer and command continuous flow of tea and coffee. Washing the dishes, maintaining a clean house with multiple humanly hurricanes in the house :sigh: mashAllah!

After all, I pray that everyone could feel the bliss of a healthy loving family. I pray that these gatherings last a life time and become more meaningful as time passes us by.

Black Ice shutting down

Till further notice due to assault, harassment and personal discomfort.

I don't believe in Love (II)

The reason I felt the need to post "I don't believe in Love" yesterday is because my cousin whose been married for a year and a half is asking for a divorce. She called me crying over the phone and GOD, it is the worst feeling to be so far away and helpless (yl3an el gherbeh). All I really wanted is to clearly understand but I couldn't, she kept on crying. Today we talked again... Basically the "love" of her life (her husband) has cheated on her.

I remember when she was getting married she asked me what I thought of him and my expressions went wild, she knew I was unhappy with her choice. She asked me to elaborate so I began to ask her:
Is he graduated? No.
Is he religious? No a bit.
Is he good? He's been around.
and I personally thought he was ugly so I don't know what attracted her in him. The conversation broke down in silence to my disappointment in him and her... but I couldn't say more; her mind was set... she loved him. When my mother spoke to her dad, he said he didn't want to break his daughter's heart, they were in love.

Well look at her now, heart broken to a greater effect. She is now a divorced young lady with a five months baby in her arms. Her ex husband is a cheater; the love that was endless cheated. He married زواج عرفي (Marriage only by the shaikh) to a Moroccan lady who is now four months pregnant.

I never expected something like this could happen in my family... but there's a first to everything. My cousin's story reminds me of the taxi I took Jordan to Syria. I shared it with two Lebanese guys and a Syrian girl. We familiarized ourselves to each other for a friendlier trip. Before the boarders the taxi driver asked us for advice. He wanted to know what he should buy for his, well..."friend!" so we began to ask how old she is and so on.. but then it hit me, he is married and was speaking REALLY highly of his wife before.
me: Aren't you married?
him: Yes.
me: Sorry to ask, what kind of friend is she?
him: A close one....
me: Aha.
him: She went through some tough times after being widowed and I wanted to be by her side. Then we became close and we married زواج متعة (Marriage by a shaikh for only an agreed time).
*eyes widen* We had a huuuuuuuge argument that I didn't let down my stand in. He spoke so dearly of his wife that made something out of him but still he "befriends" other ladies.... So immoral. :sigh: It is soooo hard to even begin to think about trusting a man with my life.

I don't believe in Love.

Too many failed relationships, too much deception, painfully broken hearts, miscommunications that lead to divorces and the lack of capability to simply "live". All these lessons in front of my eyes and you expect me to believe in love? You expect me to believe I will forever be forgotten in a dream land that never existed except in my desires and heart? Its much more of a complicated subject for me to just say "I'm in Love" to let my mind shut down and my eyes be blinded with love... It is far more complex than just the words, than just a feeling.

A skip of a heart beat isn't all.... We are fragile, men and women. To chemistry we become weak and we let it conquer our minds bringing us to misery of too many unmet expectations.

If anything came out of today's "dating" traditions, I would have believed a little more in love but everything seems to successfully compel me a little more away from the idea. One after another my lady friends have been heart broken over and over again. They tell me If I'm in Love I'll understand more... I'm perfectly capable of understanding and I clearly understand that it ISN'T love when there's numerous failed relationships over and over again.

I am not about to be another name under a guy's list. The more he's got down the prouder he is and it is shared between the men. My name shall not be used in such subjects. I don't want to be just another bullet point to prove a males' manhood.

I want to fully represent gracefulness and purity. Just like I expect to carry my future husband's name with pride, I want him to be proud to have mine under his. It's a give and take situation like it always has been but seems to be slowly or perhaps rapidly lost with the new twisted mentalities.

So how will I live happy without Love you say? I actually will live happily in Love.. Because after my decisions are clearly made with my mind, I'll allow my heart to take over. Some important points need to be met before I go on assuming I'll be ok. I'm a lady, I need shelter and security. I think Maslow's hierarchy of needs revolves around my sun only! Not because I'm too confident but because ESPECIALLY in our Middle Eastern world, I only have one chance and I want it to be JUST perfect just like every lady wishes.

Religion has been so underestimated but I consider it the key to a healthy relationship. When a man truly understands how to respect his religion is when I know he'll be capable to handle me, a needy little lady that comes out of her parent's house thinking shes princess (don't we all ladies?) Only then I'll know he has a guideline. He's thinking pattern is organized and could make things happen if we fall down the gutter because we're not invincible, that's for sure.

An educated man could also be a good idea. Someone who could support me and actually carry out a conversation I'm not ashamed to be around in a social setting. Someone well-rounded that could possibly teach me more. Someone to encourage and inspire me.

And the list goes on..... but to get back to my point. Love doesn't continue the same as time proceeds. It needs more element and base to establish and maintain a comfort zone, a family, a healthy love life thats long lived till death. This is what true love means.... When I could help my partner self-actualize with happiness as he does the same for me and we both could pass it down to our children.

*breaths*
Post influenced by a divorce ~